Dodgin' storms like a ninja

There are some days I just want to say "hey, now, come on Mother Nature. What the hell?" Today after checking the forecast and seeing nothing but clear skies, then waiting for the rain to stop that I could plainly see falling as I looked out the window, I finally get a move on and hop on the bike to run an errand. With the sun shining it seems other than the one sketchy part this is shaping up to be a beautiful day. Unfortunately for me, I must have forgotten that I live in St. Louis. Reaching my destination, I see ominously dark but still far off clouds towards the west. "Maybe... that's from what rolled through earlier?" is what I think to myself ever so briefly before putting it out of my mind as I head inside. I do a little shopping, and a little people watching, with no worry about the weather until I'm checking out. Employees are going on about how it's supposed to storm so more today, as I'm only half listening. That can't be right, can it? Surely we're done for the day. The first bits of foreboding begin to crack their way through the brave, optimistic (or naive) face that I'm wearing, hoping that I'm not going to get a soaking. I step outside, and those clouds are now looming overhead, all dark and dangerous, lightning sparkling through them as they prepare to ever so slowly rip open and dump their contents on an unsuspecting cyclist. Aw nuts. Nuts. Nuts. What a dirty trick. Trying to pack things up and get rolling quickly is the best way to make them take forever, it would seem. Finally I'm ready to roll as the first raindrops start to fall and the wind picks up. Oh goodness, the wind picks up something fierce. Pieces of asphalt are blowing off the roof of the building, landing in front of me, before I even make it out of the parking lot, and was that a hunk of the sky falling too? This wind is no joke; I wouldn't say it's impossible. Nevermind that now, I've only got time to cut through these raindrops like a knife, as I am wholly unprepared to deal with the alternative. But then more doubt creeps in. The wind is strong enough to try and whip me and the bike around, and the rain is coming, and maybe it would be a better idea to wait this one out? There's a bit of shelter right there that might help with the whole not being wet and / or dying thing. Oh well, you only live twice, so I ride on. Wind continues to blow fiercely. Cardboard boxes come flying down the street, making me feel as if I'm suddenly in an urban western; they plaster themselves to fences like they mean business. I hope one doesn't plaster itself to me, cause that's really not the kind of business I'm interested in. Better sprint this one and hope everything holds together until I make it home. Luckily the wind is going my way, pushing me faster, ever faster, until I swear at one point I'm accelerating without even pedaling. But still, it's scary. This wind is something else and I'm just a little guy, and things and trees are flying and falling everywhere, and look that is a hunk of sky over there, what is this world coming to??

Good thing I'm such a rockstar I can outride storm fronts. Aw yeah. Take that, Mother Nature. Home, safe and sound and dry, even.