This just in...

Tryin' to keep up with the news more these days. Good to stay informed and whatnot. A brief rundown of stories of interest:

~1. A Japanese multinational conglomerate (headquarters pictured) investigates how some of its customers were accidentally sent back in time to the year 1999.
~2. The Mystery Monkey of Tampa Bay evades authorities in St. Petersburg.
~3. The Russian Federation shrinks the country in time after a much-discussed Presidential decree.
~4. A member of the Rothschild banking family of England heads for the Great Pacific Garbage Patch on a boat made from 12,000 plastic bottles.
~5. If you are reading this, the latest record-breaking experiments at CERN's Large Hadron Collider have not yet caused the end of the world as we know it.