Scary post

Usually I use this blog as a means to talk about nothing. It is an object of whimsy. An avenue for nonsense. Today I am going to make a marked change speak to you about something deeply personal and deadly serious:

There may be such a thing as land-capable sharks.



This was first brought to my attention a few weeks ago through the writings of one Allie Brosh of Hyperbole and a Half. Her blog is well worth a read if you routinely find yourself wanting after you finish three-quarters of a hyperbole, or even a full one; she'll give you 50% more for the same great price. At the very least, you should go here and here and see what she has to say on this particularly subject. My own post will be merely for the purpose of elaboration on her good work, with my personal touch.

I'm not a big advocate of the punch line-type joke, but there's one in particular by a guy named Demetri Martin that I like enough to keep in my figurative pocket. It goes a little something like, "I'm afraid of sharks, but only in a water situation. If I saw a shark on the street, I'd be like 'What. F*ck you!' It's like the opposite of how I am with lions." I found it appeals to my desire for power over nature, which is not so much because I want to subject everything to human control, but rather because at some point in my life I have watched Deep Blue Sea and at least one Jaws. Sharks are f*cking scary. In the water we are utterly powerless against them. But ho! look how the tables turn once we're on land! I can call you dirty names and tell you off. Hilarious.

But now that some foolish scientists have decided to play God with nature's perfect killing machine they have brought doom upon us all. Where shark attacks were previously limited to those people silly enough to venture off splashing happily into the oceans, now they can strike anytime, anywhere. There'll be shark attacks in, like, Ohio. People'll be all, "What happened here? Was this a shark attack? But... this is Ohio. Aren't we supposed to be safe? It was probably just a wayward bear." We are never safe.

Unfortunately for us, it's not as simple as mere death incarnate in the oceans and now on land. Land-sharks are smart. Land-sharks are subversive. (Shark fact: the brain- to body-mass ratios of sharks are similar to mammals and birds; recent studies have indicated that many species possess powerful problem-solving skills, social skills and curiosity) For years, land-sharks have been working their propaganda into our popular culture in an effort to lower awareness to the threat they represent. I submit to you exhibit A: Street Sharks. Masquerading as an innocent children's cartoon, these sharks misrepresented themselves as heroes to a generation of impressionable youth. Grown to adulthood, these impressions will serve to blunt the edge of any anti-land-shark legislation and preparedness efforts, thus paving the way for an easy take over by our new shark overlords. Our prospects for survival look grim.

So by now you may be wondering "Is there any hope?" The answer is no, not really. The reason for that is in terms of apocalyptic scenarios, the Land-Capable Sharkpocalypse is by far the worst. Likely to be easiest of all to deal with would be a Zombiepocalypse, that being dependent of course on the speed and intelligence of the zeds. If television and movies have taught us anything it is that any reasonably well-stocked and well-armed individual could expect to survive and possibly even carry on a meaningful existence in the face of hordes of reanimated corpses. A Raptorpocalypse would admittedly be more frightening due to the higher level of ferociousness of dinosaurs, but I for one am fairly confident that on a good day I could out-fight and/or out-think a velociraptor. It certainly worked in Jurassic Park, and despite the inaccurate failings of the author it contained some potentially workable strategies. But when we come to sharks, we're dealing with apex predators. They are stronger, faster and smarter than us. Our best bet, and these are merely defensive measures to slow them down, are to widely disperse a large number of fishing nets, shark cages, and deep sea diving suits. That just might buy us enough time to implement our only real chance of a plan: we have to go into space.

God, I hope there aren't such things as space-capable sharks.



...Remember when I was all "this is is something deeply personal and deadly serious"? Yeah, that was a total lie. I would like to apologize to all the gullible skunks who may have fallen for such a dirty trick. I also apologize to myself for the destruction of my own credibility. What happens if I DO ever need to talk about something deeply personal and deadly serious? I've kind of dug myself into a hole here, now, haven't I?

New Music Monday: It's the real hip-hop

I've been drifting away from hip-hop of late as I've been exploring the many derivatives of rock for the last few months. There's a lot out there in the world of classic, indie and funk rock that I've yet to experience (which, honestly, is more than enough to rate a new music post in their own right, and in all fairness I should be writing first instead of posting this, and I feel bad for neglecting it now that something new and shiny's come along... I promise I'll give you some love and attention soon, rock... please don't be mad).

First up is the little track that sparked this whole thing, and fits true to life. It was as I walked through and caught the sound of this song on KDHX that made me think I ought to have a listen to what's being broadcast over the airwaves.
1982 - The Radio

Next is something you may have heard, or maybe not. Anyone with any exposure to hip-hop knows what Nas sounds like, and anyone with any exposure to anything knows who the Marleys are. But did you know Nas and Damian put out an album together? I was unaware. Hate me if you want.
Nas & Damian Marley - As We Enter

Hip-hop for Beatles fans, what what! Eleanor Rigby is my jam, lovin' that they sampled it, and the use of strings on urban songs? Fugedaboutit.
Evidence - Let the Beat Flip.

And now because we've established that dancing is awesome, a little something to get the blood flowing. B-boys and b-girls, stand up. Diggin' the strings on this as well, and the oldie soul sample is just killer.
JR & PH7 - Freedom [feat. Bambu, Rasco & Trek Life]

The subtitle of today's entry is, as many of them are, a quote from a song. This particular one is by Mobb Deep, only I didn't know that when I wrote it down cause I don't didn't listen to him. Nearly had an aneurysm trying to sort out where it came from. You guys, BLOGGING IS DANGEROUS, holy geez. Having obsessions is hard.



Dedicated with love to my B*tch of All Trades. And on our next episode: the most frightening post of all time.

One of four (thank you)

You know how when you're in a new car, and it's got that wonderful new car smell and feel? I have that feeling right now, only it's about a band. I love new band smell.

Canasta. Oh, Canasta. There was a lot to like about this show, and it all starts here. I first noticed them before the show started and before I knew who they were. There they were, sitting off to the side of the room, quietly, as if nothing at all was about to burst forth. "Hmm. Christmas sweater." is what I thought to myself. Then, slowly, there were more. "Apparently there's a theme on. I wonder why no one told me?" Not that I am particularly fond of Christmas sweaters, or even happen to own any. Heck, it's not even like I'm all that big on Christmas celebrations on the whole. But still, maybe it would have been nice to know ahead of time, Canasta. Maybe there could have been a memo. Anyway. I'll certainly give them that they had their own thing going on, and that's what being an indie band is all about: doing your own thing, independently. No matter if what you look or sound isn't mainstream. In this case, the look was ridiculous (hey Canasta, the Griswolds called, and they said quit pinching stuff from their closets) to the point that at times I was overcome. Couldn't even look at them. Just had to turn away and laugh. The sound, however, was superb. And infectious. From the start of the first song, they made the crowd come alive. And when I say "crowd" I really mean just one guy, but he danced so intensely that he made up for everyone else. I went up and danced along, couldn't leave him up there alone and unchallenged, but you knew that already. Canasta totally owns doing their own thing, with the musical prowess and the vocal chops to do whatever they want, and do it well. This included a completely rearranged rendition of a Christmas song that was so infused with their style of awesomeness that I couldn't even tell you what it was, and a wonderful cover of Elton's "Bennie and the Jets" that makes me wish I could take them home with me, or at least borrow the lead singer's voice to bring out to karaoke sometimes.

Canasta - Mexico City

Jon Hardy and the Public is everything a typical indie band is not. If The Man had a band, this is what I would imagine they'd look and sound like. Guys in ties and suit jackets + a girl in a dress. Competent guitarists + keyboardist + horn section, but lacking a vibrancy, or urgency, or energy, or soul. I mean, don't pull out a baritone sax if you don't know how to use it, kay? Go home and listen to some Tower of Power, then come back and we'll talk. The shame of it is had I not known what was to come from the next two acts and been unexpectedly blown away by Canasta, I probably would have liked them just fine. Some of their songs were in fact perfectly danceable, but if I stopped to wander away from the stage and talk to someone I didn't feel like I was missing much. I suppose I can give them one more chance to prove to me that they can rock, but they better bring it.

Elsinore was originally scheduled to be the headliner; due to an unfortunate incident involving a drunk driver after a show in Columbia that put the drummer out of commission the band had to drop out, but lead singer Ryan Groff stepped up to go solo for the remaining dates on the tour. Having seen Ryan perform with Elsinore countless times I felt I knew exactly what to expect, and it turned out I was pretty much dead on: soft spoken guitar, beautiful singing and masterful whistling. Ryan's got a pretty little voice, easily one of the best I've ever seen live, and he knows how to hypnotize a room. Without the band behind him it makes for a much mellower sound, which made quite the juxtaposition next to the other acts in the lineup. Such a change in the energy flow between bands is potentially a huge buzzkill and the kind of thing I'm rather particular about, luckily Ryan is supremely awesome. It's quite possible he's a minor deity, or more likely some sort of wizard. Despite the absence of the band, at times I could almost feel their presence and danced along to the energetic parts of songs just as if they were there. About the only thing that was surprising was his magical looping pedals, which I'm pretty sure he used to layer his whistling over itself. Magical Masterful Looping Whistling sure is a mouthful, and it's quite an earful as well.

With four bands on the bill I was quite afraid that the sets would be frustratingly short, and most importantly that I wouldn't be able to dance properly to Jumbling Towers (it's nice to jam along with songs you know). It's even fun to jam along with songs you don't know (they put out a new EP that I don't have yet), especially when the new man in the band is dancing up on stage. Now that's what I call exciting.

Bonus: After JT finished the sound guy turned on some music while the crowd made its way out and the band packed up. I thought it was likely some old classic rock band I'd not yet heard of because they started fifteen years before I was born, but it turns out they'd come through St. Louis just last week. Mental note: Mount Carmel might the best thing since Grand Funk Railroad. Further investigation required.

Try to freeze time, try to freeze time for your mind

I used to think that "time machine" was the answer to everything. Well, everything involving the question of time, at least. Things involving the question of space were another issue, for which I had another answer at the ready: "instantaneous teleportation device". As soon I managed to get those two babies up and running, whew boy, I'd be unstoppable. I would only use this technology for the purpose of good... er... good for me. But then, one simply drawn yet confusing web comic later, my world came crashing down.



That's the bad news. The good news is, a webcomic for cynics! I am in heaven.



Update: The morning after I wrote this, I walked into work to find someone's new book for a little light reading was The Time Machine by H. G. Wells. I nearly flipped my grits when I saw it, innocuously sitting on the desk like it wasn't up to something, when I know darn well the universe is having fun with me.

Also, after further reflection on this comic, I realized that not only has the character killed himself, he's done so without causing the usual paradox because he has killed his future self. That is just messed up (yet also genius!) in a way I don't want to wrap my brain around.

Get up and dance to the music

You should all be aware of the fact that I like dancing. Seriously, you should. If this is a surprise to you, there is a distinct possibility that you may be dead. You'll probably want to check with someone to make sure. Here, I've compiled a few simple questions to help get you started:



Alright, now that we've got the issue of being dead / alive settled it's back to the topic at hand. Throughout my life I have had a few formative experiences that have shaped my views on the subject of dance, whether that be as a participant or a spectator. These experiences have all been in the area of music, or in many cases specifically music videos.

Late 80's, artist and song unknown - I have vividly vague memories from when I was maybe four years old of watching a concert performance of some kind on television. Vivid, because I clearly recall the astounding effect that was imparted upon me. I danced along like a wild child with that man who was onstage, and I knew I was good. Nothing could stop me in my uninhibited youth. Sadly, this time was all too short as I would soon enter the Period of the Great Shyness and wouldn't dance freely for another ten plus years.

Circa 1998, Michael Jackson's Dangerous album - Growing up as a boy I didn't exactly have a lot of choice in my musical leanings. In the house or the car I simply listened to whatever was on, and that's all there was to it. In my own room I had a little more freedom, though there were still many things which were off limits. One album I did acquire that did seem to be acceptable was Dangerous, on cassette. I wasn't moved to the point of doing any actual dancing, cause gosh was I shy. But somewhere, deep down, the seed had been planted...

October 29, 2003, Core Project - Some life events leading up to this date resulted in the decline of the Period of the Great Shyness. Though it was to be followed with the Period of the Lesser Shyness, nonetheless this was an important change as I was no longer deathly terrified of all strangers. Now my fear can be managed to a reasonable level and is no longer life-threatening. Coupled with this in that same preceding time frame was an equally important Magical Musical Awakening. For the first time in my life I began to make my own, good choices about what things I would listen to. Some of my notable discovers that still have ramifications to this day were jazz, rock and hip-hop. The days of angst-fueled listening to rap and nu-metal would draw to a close, to be replaced with the smooth sounds of Tribe, the Roots and RHCP. Together, these two things created a perfect storm, and the time was ripe for something new. When I happened across the jazz/hip-hop fusion of Core Project, it was on. I can't say with certainty that this was my first concert, but it was the first time in I began to frequent shows, explore the live music scene, and borrow and incorporate the dance moves I saw. Something beautiful began to grow...

Feelin' nostalgic... Core Project - The Verbal Assault

June 3, 2007, Berlin Whale, The Bureau, So Many Dynamos, Jumbling Towers, and Say Panther - It's one thing to dance like no one is watching. It's something I've taken to heart and made my own, with great success. The thing that I find equally amusing and hard to understand is that people seem to think I look good while doing it, cause I have no clue what I'm doing. When I say "like no one is watching" I include myself in that as well. The simple trick is to flail around in a dance-related fashion, in time with the music. But, that's not what this day wass about. One this day (and it was a glorious day) I first began to grasp the the wondrous concept of dancing badly, in public, on purpose. Now you can't do this to just anything, mind you. It works best when listening to highly infectious and energetic indie rock dance party songs. All the better if you are surrounded by a crowd of excited indie rock fans who like to have fun with themselves. Even more so if it's a song with lots of weird time changes.

Berlin Whale - Igloos

2009, The Marx Brothers - After a couple friends turned me onto the old timey humor of the Marx Brothers, life became much, much funnier. Little did I know that the boys knew about more than just the standard vaudeville shenaningans. Watching A Day at the Races changed the name of the game. Vivien Fay kills it. It's the spinning she does that sets it off. Unfortunately there's almost no info out there about her, but the point has been made: ballet rocks.



2009 - I don't know for a fact that it was this video that inspired me to get off my duff and have a go at swing dancing, but let's just go ahead and say that it was. I want those moves! And I want that outfit. Maybe after I go study for ten years I'll have the skills to pull it off and challenge the master.



And I think that pretty well takes us up to today. Well, other than the latest thing which is to go to the club and start dance fights, but that's a story for another day.

Everything's comin' up Cooley

Once upon a time I was spoiled in having a guaranteed good show every week. Mondays were for Madahoochi. Times were good, and music was plentiful. But then, tragedy strikes! Two members of the band packed up and moved to Florida, and life became cold and dark. Where ever would I go to get my jam on? There was no one able to fill the void that Madahoochi has left in my soul. Luckily it turned out all was not lost, as the band still gets back together to rock the house every few months. It's not quite the same as those good ol' days at what became my regular bar among the regular fans, but it is enough to get me by while I search for a replacement scene. Last night it was time for Cooley & Company at the Bottleworks. I have to admit that I went in with low expectations; not because of any failings of the band, but rather the limitations of the space. I feel that it is really not well set up in a way that is conducive to large crowds of frenzied dancers as the stage / floor area is fairly small. I planned to go anyway, of course, as I have to take my Madahoochi where I can get it. I only invited a few people, as I was feeling lazy and discouraged, but somehow it turns out that things then started going my way. First nearly everyone I invited then invited people of their own in turn, and some of those people invited people, until there was a great big degrees of separation mish-mash of friends. It enabled me to be quite more of a social butterfly than I was anticipating. I also bumped into a few guys I know from other shows, so I ended up feeling pretty darn popular. Then in the midst of my fluttering about I somehow found myself with some prime dancing real estate when the Taco Guy moved out of the way to deliberately open a space for me to dance directly in front of the stage. I couldn't let the opportunity pass me by. I proceeded to do my thing, which is to dance like no one is watching, only apparently people were watching cause girls started commenting on my moves*. It didn't register until the next morning that these comments were also a type of opportunity and that maybe I could have talked to them. That would have required a situational awareness that I simply do not have. I continued on, oblivious, dancing and fluttering the night away, deftly moving along to the music and dodging the girl who little by little dropped her drink. Extra dancing on the encore song, when they killed the place with a James Brown cover. Nothing like a funky jam ftw.

*Also, I had a lady comment on my shirt. I couldn't come up with anything cool to wear, so I thought I'd just throw on a t-shirt from this band Public Property that played with Hoochi one time. Usually I am against wearing band shirts to shows, but I decided this time I didn't care, plus they're kind of related. Two or three guys there noticed and commented or nodded as well, in the realm of "hey, I know that band." And you know, talkin' about bands? That's something I can deal with. But ladies askin' me if I really am public property? Um... don't exactly know what to say to that. Gotta be careful going out wearing anything the least bit risque. Mental note: only bring out the Cuddle Slut shirt when I'm feeling extra thick-skinned and sassy.

"Cookin' with 'lectric" just doesn't have the same ring to it

I sure do miss having my good ol' gas stove sometimes - cooking on an electric burner just makes me feel silly - but that doesn't mean the end of adventures in cooking. Tonight I made up a pot of something sorta tasty and possibly worth writing down, if for no other reason then at least for posterity's sake so I can make it again in the future. Considering how little I looked at the recipe* that was my original inspiration and the almost complete lack of measuring done throughout the process, I figure it's smart to make a reference. I'm sure it could use some tweaking, but that'd be easier if I know what I'm tweaking it from. This evening's adventure is dedicated to P Smoth.

Ingredients:
~oil
~one onion, chopped
~garlic powder
~thyme
~cumin
~cajun seasoning
~cayenne pepper
~salt
~water
~one cup each of black beans & great northern beans**
~a whole bunch of red potatos, peeled and diced***
~stew-friendly vegetables, which in this case was a bag of french cut green beans discovered in the freezer
~sausage, sliced
~around a cup brown rice

Directions:
In a large pot, heat oil over medium heat. Add onion and cook until translucent (about two minutes). Add vegetables, garlic powder, thyme and cumin; cook they start to get tender (today, that meant two to three minutes after they'd thawed). Add the beans, cajun seasoning and cayenne pepper, along with enough water to cover everything; bring to a boil, then lower heat to simmer for forty minutes. (Note that if you started cooking only when you felt the pangs of hunger, you effed up.) Check back occasionally to make sure the beans are still covered. (Or forget about this entirely because you wandered off to do other things while you try to forget about the fact that you're hungry now and you don't feel like waiting for forty freakin' minutes; hope for the best upon your return to the kitchen.) Add potatoes, rice and sausage, and more water if necessary; continue to simmer for a while longer until the rice is done, at least twenty to thirty minutes. (If need be, curse your own name at the foolishness of how you failed to plan the amount of time this would take; hope that you won't wither away to nothing before your meal is done.)

*The webternets lives in my room. The cooking obviously must be done in the kitchen. For some reason picking up my laptop and carrying it into another room so I could see what I should be doing just seemed like more than I could be bothered with, as was the idea of scribbling down the recipe on a piece of paper. After walking back and forth a few times I quickly grew bored with my cross-apartment commute. I had the important details in my head by that point (that mostly being how long the beans needed to cook), but beyond that I didn't put in much effort. This would be the main reason why I didn't measure any of the seasonings I was putting in. I like to call this "cooking by the seat of my pants".

**One cup each seemed like a good idea at the time. I remember thinking "what a nice, round number!" It didn't seem like all that much when I started them soaking. Dried beans are very small and light, you see. After I drained them, though... whew, that's a lotta beans. Felt like I'd used a whole sack of 'em. I began to wonder if I'd gotten myself in over my head... I also got a song stuck in my head, thinking about sacks of beans.

***On a recent grocery trip I bought ten pounds of potatoes. Ten pounds is kind of a lot for one person to go through, but my thought was maybe I'd finally be able to cook a large enough batch of something that I'd have some leftovers after I finish dinner. For ages I'll try out some new thing, and it'll be super tasty. I'll be all, "Woah! This is good! And I made so much that I'll have some to eat tomorrow!" Then I'll proceed to demolish the entire thing. It's so good that I can't stop myself eating until it's gone. I gradually started increasing the amount of what I made. I could take a large plate and fill it to overflowing, and still I'd only taken half of it. "Surely this will be enough now!" I thought to myself. By the time I finished that plate I'd be stuffed... and yet somehow I would go back for the rest and finish it again. It was ridiculous. Buying ten pounds of potatoes is my attempt to cook such huge amounts that eating it all in one night is thoroughly impossible. I have to use a lot of them at once, otherwise they'll go bad, you dig? I think it's finally working. Anyway, that's not at all what this note was meant to be about. Because I had so many beans I felt like I had to add a lot of something else. Totally lost count of how many potatoes I put in there trying to balance things out. I'm guessing about two cups worth.

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Apache Rose Peacock

Oh snap! Cold snap.

Being dependent on spending time outside for the purpose of both fun and transportation, I'm not such a huge fan of the fall and winter. Due to the fact that I've lived car-free for so many years, and that I do not have the finances necessary to alternate hemispheres every few months, I have now grown accustomed to their existence and have ceased calling for their destruction. Cold happens. Fine. (For me this is an example of my growth as a human being; I used to view cold as a personal and grievous affront. I found it insulting on a deeply intimate level.)

But that does not mean I appreciate Mother Nature giving me the run around, temperature-wise. I will admit that part of me enjoyed the rash of unseasonably warm November days we've experienced, but in the back of my mind I feared it would make things harder for me in the long run. My fear was that I would get cold, like all of a sudden, and I wouldn't be ready. Spread the chilling out graaadully over a few weeks, and I don't so much care. I got tights and gloves and arm gloves (aka arm warmers) and leg warmers and a balaclava. I got gear out the wazoo. So bring it, cold weather, and we'll see who defeats who. But no. Mother Nature had to get all tricksy, like, "Now it's 70°! Isn't it glorious! Hooray!!" only to turn around and say, "Now it's practically freezing, brrrr," and that was like over the course of ONE DAY mind you, which is hardly enough time to get acclimated. This was then followed by, "Hey, how 'bout some SNOW? Snow, snow, snow, all over everything. That's fun, right?" Not to mention between the cold and the snow it rained for forty days and forty nights, and that shouldn't even be POSSIBLE because this has all happened during the course of one month.

All of this has been leading up to me wanting to tell you that I have a sore throat. I am none too pleased about it. I had about eleven cups of tea while I was at work today, and I was only there for four hours. There is a distinct possibility of a regression in the tenuous peace that exists between myself and winter and I may get really, really cranky when it gets cold. I may even go into hibernation. Those bears might be onto something.

For the record there is a time when it is and when it is not to use the term "Oh snap!" I have [re]created a flowchart for you in the event that you become confused and wish to avoid an awkward situation. Like the one I'm in now. Looks like I blew it.



Also, here's a song about bears. There's an unwritten post somewhere about this song, and some other songs this guy sings, and some other bands who may have played with him. Perhaps I'll come back around to that sometime.

Jonny Corndawg - The Life of a Bear

Remember to bathe, boys and girls! Even while you are in dreamworld, bathing is just as important. Otherwise you might find yourself enhusked in a layer of dirt so thick that washing is no longer an option and you'll have to husk yourself clean like a human corncob. Is "enhusked" a word? I bet the dictionary says no, but the vividly disturbing imagery from the dream I had says yes.

Moral of the story: Don't be dirty, mmkay? Even after waking, the unsettling feeling of being unclean remains. If it wasn't 28° outside I might be tempted to find and walk through a car wash on my way to work. If you need help in not being dirty I found you an instructional video that may also improve your dance moves. (You're welcome.)

Pieces of a man

In a fit of musical exploration I went to the Pageant last night to check out some bands I've never heard of. This is perhaps a bit uncharacteristic for me at this particular time of year as I tend to go into hibernation mode in Fall and Winter, but I was helped by the fact that we have relatively balmy weather and that I acquired magical tickets. Score two for the good guys. In the forty-eight hours or so preceding the concert I did a little research on the bands in question to make or break my decision on whether or not I should actually go, and it turned out to be rather enjoyable, though not entirely what I expected.

Headlining the gig was Wolf Parade, who definitely represent themselves much better live than they do recorded. Listening to a smattering of tracks from their latest two albums I judged them to be just so-so, but they upped the energy level quite a bit on stage. Sadly it was not enough to encourage more than a few sporadic and intermittent dance moves from the crowd, but having no expectations I found it enjoyable.

The show stealer, however, had to be the opening act of Ogre You Asshole. I picked out a video at random and it happened to be one of their best songs. I don't know what it is these guys do to my brain, but I like it. Going in I was more excited about seeing them than Wolf Parade. Other than one frantically dancing guy the crowd never really warmed up to them - maybe because it was early? - but for me it was pretty special walking in just as they started my current top pick of their songs. They finished their set with one I've not yet heard but I for sure need to listen to - the bass solo was especially awesome, it's hard to believe anyone can play a bass that fast using a pick. I also did not mind getting Kei Mabuchi's autograph when he walked up and sat down right behind me. Does it qualify as being a fanboy moment if I've been listening to them for two days?

Japanese guys! In a box! Playin' music and havin' fun with confetti. At least the video isn't game show-inspired.


That's the good news. The bad news is I'm having a near-existential crisis over the state of organization of my music library trying to figure out how to file this properly. In what language do I title the albums and songs? Japanese with Japanese characters? Japanese with Chinese characters? Japanese using the Latin alphabet? English translations of Japanese? I am not helped by the fact that I've found the file names and metadata and general info vary between using ALL FOUR of these. Arrg... Ultimately, I feel the best compromise between authenticity and function is to use rōmaji, but I don't necessarily feel good about it. Order... need order... order which keeps me from going to pieces.

New Music Monday: Club Thing

An impromptu visit to the club for a little weekend dancing has clued me in to a few new bands to groove to.

#3. If Revenge of the Nerds were being remade today, the nerds would play this song to win the final event of the Greek Games in the climactic scene.


#2. Technically speaking when I heard the DJ spin this it was merely a reminder, as I found the track was already on my hard drive when I got home. Clearly it was a needed one. Now that it's gotten my attention for the second time, it's getting so much play. Sadly they aren't very prolific, the only work they've done basically consists of this track and a smattering of remixes. Put out a record already.
Flight Facilities - Crave You [feat. Giselle Rosselli]

#1. Fun songs + fun videos = win. WIN, I say.

Note to self:

I'll often write myself notes because my memory for details can be terrible. If I don't write things down, they don't exist. Usually they reference some band or website that I mean to take a look at later. Sometimes I find them so long after the fact that they have lost all hope of being understood in context, leaving me to guess wildly at what their purpose may once have been. Today I found a short list that is particularly perplexing. At the top, a url that leads to a wildlife and nature photography website. At the bottom, "SR-71 w/ three engines". They have two, if you're wondering, and they're already one of the fastest planes ever designed. Can't find any evidence that any variants were made with such a modification, nor do I know why anyone would feel the need for more power. But it's the one in the middle that gets me: "hippopotamus top speed". Yeah... cause that knowledge was going to come in handy. For the life of me I can't think of a reason why that would ever be relevant. Was I considering starting a fight with a hippo, and wondering what my chances of escape were if things took a turn for the worse? Some days I'm too weird even for myself.

Update: Hippos have been clocked at 19 mph over short distances. Looks like picking a fight with one is out, unless perhaps I am on my bike while I do so.

The triumphant return of New Music Mondays

Been on hiatus for a little while, which I understand had a few folks a little disappointed. Sorry 'bout that. Let myself get a little distracted by other things. Here's hoping getting back into this will bring a degree of focus and balance back to my life.
A while back I was at a party where a pretty girl introduced me to Pretty Lights. Well, that's not exactly how it went. If you want the truth, she gave me just the tiniest hint only to snatch it away as I started to get my groove on. Thought that was rather a tease move to make, but it would seem that's how some folks roll. Ahem. I digress, as it all worked out in the end. I managed to catch their name before she tried to shut my dance party down, which is a musical and dancing discovery that may rank right up there near Rjd2 in terms of sheer importance, and I used my fly moves to basically crush all comers on the dance floor (er... I mean dance yard... luckily my moves work just as well on grass). It was quite the night. I suppose it would have been nice to get the girl in the end, but life can't always be a Disney movie. Anyway, Disney movies don't know nothing about stealth disco. For reasons not entirely known to me, I perpetrated an incident of ninja-like dancing skill. Sadly, there was no video, but rest assured that it was hilarious, if for nothing else then for the fact that I spent a solid few minutes dancing practically IN someone's back pocket without being noticed.

Pretty Lights - Look Both Ways & Understand Me Now

Color Me Marcus, pt. 4

Today on my way home I moseyed on by my friendly neighborhood garden center in an attempt to continue the theme of plants native to China that relate to kung fu. Next up on my list of a green growing friend to acquire was a chrysanthemum. Last time I stepped through the place I struck out but they suggested they might get some stock in the fall. This time I pulled off the win; not only did they have some on hand, I pretty much got first dibs as they'd only come in half an hour or so beforehand. They didn't even all have price tags yet cause they figured no one would come in wanting to buy them. I, of course, like to stir things up. Now that this is crossed off my To Do list, I'm all set to hold my very own Chung Yeung Festival, just like in the movie. Well, as soon as I get like eight million more, and an Imperial Palace to put them in. Just T's and I's to cross and dot.

Hello, my name is William T. Mumsford.

Deerhoof - Flower

I ♥ killing zombies

Well now, hooray for this.

You think you've got me figured out

Last night I stepped out to see some old favs at the Firebird, where a good time was had indeed. Headlining the show was adopted band friends Elsinore fresh off the release of a spanking new album Yes Yes Yes. They hail from Champaign, but they've been coming to St. Louis so long they're practically local. As always, lead singer Ryan Groff was masterful with use of his powerfully sweet voice. Notable stops on the rest their tour are at Lincoln Hall in Chicago on Friday, August 20 and the Strutt in Kalamazoo on Friday, August 27. I suggest you take a listen and think about going to check 'em out if they're comin' through your town. I'm already waiting for them to come back again.

Moving backwards through time leads us to Jumbling Towers, one of the thankfully long-lasting local indie rock acts. Too many good local bands have fallen, cut down in their prime by whatever circumstances make bands break up. Where I used to have a stable of St. Louis bands to choose from, with someone playing a show practically every week, now there are so very few. Keep on trucking.

And last we come to those that played first. Opening things up was Dear Vincent, a band of complexities. The only group I can think of offhand with so many layers of instrumentation is Lost in the Trees. Dear Vincent doesn't quite have the depth as Lost in the Trees - and this is hardly a fair comparison to make considering Lost in the Trees is an indie rock orchestra - but they've definitely got a lot going on. I'd say there's reason to go see them again just for the sake of picking apart some of the different sounds that they used, as I'm sure I missed quite a bit. It just so happens that they play some pretty decent music. They sure restored a bit of my faith in opening bands and did a good job of getting the crowd warmed up and into the show. It also happens that the drummer is a cyclist. And that sometimes he follows me around. I bumped into him twice today while I was out and about. It was strange.

My only complaint about the evening was the lack of crowd participation. I've seen folks get into the groove in a rather serious way at both Elsinore and Jumbling Towers shows, so I figured the two of them together would produce some epic indie dance action. Plus Dear Vincent was so good starting things off I had high expectations. Alas, it was not to be. Maybe there was something off about the energy level of the place or of the bands, or the length of the sets (personally I felt like they were a little short). I did my best to hold it down on the dance front, and kept up the fight solo, front and center through two whole sets, but things did not jump off as I had hoped. And boy, do I feel self-conscious about it after the fact. Dancing like no one is watching while everyone else is dancing is one thing, but doing so while the whole crowd just sits back and chills is something else entirely. Obviously they can see you, cause there is no where to hide!

A whole mess of sound

At least the spirit of music isn't dead in the Loop. For four days in September 9oish bands will descend onto the neighborhood for a festival of epic proportions. Well, epic for St. Louis, anyway. The PLAY:stl fest runs the 15-18, though it remains to be seen how this will compare to the RFT Showcase. The low, low price of $20 gets you in to see all this glory. I'll admit it's a good deal, but that's versus a simple five spot for the RFT. And this thing is sponsored by Sam Adams. Again, I have to admit that it's a good beer, but we've got plenty of good beer a lot closer to home. I'm not convinced this is not a plot masterminded by Joe Edwards. Now that the RFT deal has moved elsewhere he's free to make a bunch more money off of anyone wanting to see a pile of bands in the Loop? Just a little wild speculation, though it remains to be seen what the real story is. Now that the schedule is up there are a whole lot of bands I don't know... but that could be good! If they're cool, what an intense period of new music discovery it would be. Most notably I see Art Majors are playing, been looking forward to seeing them for a minute. Might be worth checkin' out...

Hoe. Lee. Cow.
How amazing is this??
I have been transported back to my elementary school computer lab, and I love it.

Color Me Marcus, pt. 3

At some point a ways back I had made decisions to teach myself origami and to decorate my room with it. It seemed like a cool and different sort of thing to do, dig? I'm not up to trying anything so fancy as a dragon or an Oliphaunt or a peacock, mind you. I just did a few simple designs. Nor was I committed enough to attempt folding a thousand cranes, even if it would get me a free wish. But that was enough to give me an idea... After a brief stop at the locally-owned hardware store I picked up a few nails and some fishing line. I put the nails into the walls near ceiling height and strung the line across, and planned to hang some cranes using paper clips (for ease of use). I quickly realized, however, that the fishing line is damn near invisible, making it possible to make the cranes appear as if they're hanging from nothing at all (and also terribly tedious to work with as you can hardly see what you're doing). I abandoned my paper clip plan and instead suspended the cranes with more of the fishing line. What else was I going to do with the rest of that spool, anyway? I took a couple pictures that hardly do it justice; the end effect is that I AM MAGICAL. It's pretty sweet. Also, not caring as of yet to go out and buy origami paper, I've been making cranes out of interesting and colorful pictures I find in magazines (my personal favorite so far being one about the Japanese Festival at the Missouri Botanical Garden) and in one case a salvaged piece of wrapping paper. Takin' the sentimentality to new heights!

Color Me Marcus, pt. 2

My honey jar has an alter ego. Mild-mannered yet delicious food turns super-powered crime fighter extraordinaire. He has a cape! And while you go about your business, he watches over this city, protecting us all...

Erykah Badu - Honey (Captain Planet remix)

Color Me Marcus

Today I decided I was going to roll over to the farmer's market.

But today, I wasn't there for the usual. Today, I was looking for something a little different...


Today I got bamboo*! I've named it Mr. Shoots. As you can see, Mr. Shoots is already adjusting to his new home and making friends. Mr. Shoots, meet Buzz...


I've been wanting plants for a while now, but at the old place I was always afraid there was too little light to grow anything properly. I wasn't sure what kind of plant to get, until I settled on bamboo as a nod to my appreciation for kung fu cinema and Chinese culture. Perhaps this will be the start of something wonderful! I'm already thinking about what I'd like to get next...

*Well... make that "Lucky Bamboo", which is not related to bamboo and isn't native to Asia. Dang.

Music gets down in your soul, makes you want to lose control

Last night I stepped out to see Robert Randolph and the Family Band courtesy of some free tickets I lucked my way into (thus continuing the tradition of going to see RR for zero dollars). I have to say that the energy level was a bit lower than the last time I saw them perform, and that was a little disappointing. I like my music lively so I can dance to it, but things didn't really pick up until the encore. All and all, it was still a good show. The highlight has to be the covers they played: Dylan's "Maggie's Farm" (which was originally made known to me through the version done by RAtM), Jimi's "Foxy Lady", and a sort of cover / mash-up of "Papa Was a Rollin' Stone" by The Temptations and "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga. Fun stuff. Love that pedal steel.



Next up, a series of Color Me Katie-inspired posts.

In with the old, in with the new

An assortment of cycling-related stuffs from the interwebs, some old and some new.

~Bikes + contortionists + engineers. I think I've got an idea of how this works, but even still this is... this is... I would say this is hard for me to bend my mind around, but that would be in poor form (cause I hate puns).


Read more @ Toxel...

~Cyclists + musical instruments + parades. Why didn't I think of that?? Gonna need to find a fleet of cargo bikes in this town, and stat.

Justin Ancheta Performs at the 2010 Bicycle Music Festival Parade from John Hamilton on Vimeo.

~Cyclists + vandalism + gamer nerds. Looks like some creative-minded people up in Portland went off the deep end. And that make me so happy! I don't think you could get much more classic than this.





Read more @ Bike Portland...

~Cyclists + indie musicians. I don't know how I missed posting this one... Only reason I can think of for depriving you of Coco Love Alcorn's awesomeness is I was keeping her in my pocket for a rainy day to blow your mind. Between this and her song "Intellectual Boys" I could be looking at my future wife. Also, someone to keep in mind next time I've got some spare cash to drop on a record / merch buying spree.



There now, all caught up.

It's Showtime!

Woah... whoever made this music video watches way cooler movies than I do. Here I thought I was doing with Death Race 2000. Clearly I ain't seen nothing yet... So very glad these kids are coming to do their thing at the club this weekend. I am all over it.

Sweet Inspiration (times two)

Caught wind of a couple things lately that take my general feeling of being a fairly physically capable guy and just shake it to pieces.

First, I've been reading an account of the Pedouin family's trek on a quint tandem. Five people. One bike. 7,000 miles from Kentucky to Alaska, by way of Florida. And the trip is for no reason other than just to do it. In and of itself this feat would be impressive enough, riding clear across the country and all, crashing with folks where they can and sleeping outside where they can't. But then they have two extra degrees of difficulty that are sure to wow the judges. Of this family of five, three of them are young girls, at the outset aged 6, 4 and 2. I'm sure most of the energy for this comes from the parents, but I still have to admire the tenacity for sticking it through. If that wasn't enough, neither of these parents are what I would call actual cyclists. About all they had going for them was that they knew how to ride a bicycle, but nothing approaching serious strength or endurance or distance. They gave themselves just three months time to warm up, and the mileage they do is quite paltry, frankly (I could crush them on my worst day). They seem to be getting it done, though, and good for them.

Second, I just caught this trailer for a documentary called "The Ataxian. This guy Kyle Bryant has Friedreichs Ataxia, a neuromuscular disorder that affects muscle coordination. Instead of sitting around and letting it rule his world, he's doing a 9 day, 3,000 mile bike race. I am blown away that he's got so much heart as to make the attempt. This ride crushes strong riders. It takes me a year to do three grand. Just... wow.

Ultimate!

Fourmingoes versus Low Five. I don't believe I've ever seen myself on video. I had no idea this is what I look like...

America!

It's been a little while since I've had any adventures in cooking. I went to a sweet BBQ last night, and while I left the heavy lifting in the cooking department to the grill masters, I did whip out a couple recipes to contribute in the area of sides. One of 'em was something new that I tried out, and apparently it was pretty tasty cause it got destroyed. Managed to get only like two bites of it myself cause I didn't realize it was going over so well. Luckily I took a little off the top for myself before I headed over there, so I'm set.

Show me potato salad! (w/ bacon):

~3 lbs red potatoes*
~3/4 cup sour cream*
~2/3 cup mayonnaise*
~1 tsp salt
~1 tsp mustard
~1/2 tsp garlic powder
~1/4 tsp black pepper
~5 bacon strips, cooked and crumbled
~1/4 cup chopped green onions*
~1/4 cup chopped green pepper
~1 cup chopped apple*

Cut potatoes into cubes; place in a large pot and cover with water. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 10-15 minutes or until tender. Drain and cool to room temperature. In a large bowl combine all ingredients (be sure to fold in sour cream and mayonnaise thoroughly). Cover and refrigerate for at least two hours before serving.

*Kinda fudging on some of the measurements here. I put in the amount of potatoes that I had, and then based some of the rest on how it looks and feels.

Penultimate baked beans:

~30 oz pork & beans
~~1 garlic clove, minced
~1 pkg onion soup mix
~1/2 cup water
~1/2 cup BBQ sauce
~1/2 cup brown sugar
~2 tbsp mustard
~1/2 lb mostly cooked bacon

Preheat oven to 350. Mix all ingredients except bacon together and spread in a 9×13 dish. Top with cooked bacon. Cover with aluminum foil and bake covered for 30 mins, then uncovered for 15 mins.

This is the one that everyone killed, even though I didn't follow the recipe completely (hence the "penultimate" as opposed to the be all and end all of beans. As is, I apparently took the championship in the "best side" category. I wonder what would happen if I'd put everything in there? Probably could have taken over the world, or at least a few other BBQs. Personally I thought this maybe wouldn't mind baking for a little longer without the cover, but what do I know? Thought about throwing in just a hint of vegetables too, for variety, but I'll save the experimentation for when it's not my first time.

Chicagofalcon

Chicago land sure gets a lot of good funk... somebody'd better start working on that magic bike tube.

The Budos Band @ Chicago Folk & Roots Festival, July 10

Caribou w/ the Budos Band @ Millennium Park (which I am supremely jealous of, btw; someone should be nice and give it to me), July 12

Living a lie

Actually, St. Louis has plenty of good shows. Why, this weekend there happen to be three gigs in two days that I'd love to get myself to. Friday night is looking particularly interesting, with Lojic @ The Pageant and We Landed on the Moon! @ The Firebird. The former doesn't play much here these days, but I've been going to see them since I was a young buck, and they've got a new album out that coincides with the kick off of their Midwest tour (aw yeah, they still know where they're from). WLotM! is a much more recent find, but they sure know how to rock the house, and are generally upstanding and awesome individuals. Tough choices. Sadly I just took my time machine to the shop, or this whole situation would be much easier. Both of these bands are definitely worth checking out, and it kills me that their St. Louis tour dates conflict. My current hope is that their set times don't conflict as well, cause I will surely attempt an unprecedented double-header concert night. You only live twice, right? I'll rest when I'm dead. It's not living a lie if you're not living at all.

Chicagogorillas

Reppin' the Midwest with some of the best from Chi. Man, Chicago is a beast when it comes to hogging on some good shows*. I'd liken it to 98 pound lightweight and a silverback competing for the same bunch of bananas. There's just no contest. I'm maybe gonna have to move there or something. New news out this week on stuff going on in the Animate Objects family. Actually, though I've been listening to them for a while now (that's some good underground / conscious / eclectic stuff there for you, if you didn't know) I didn't know there was an AO family. Just took a listen to some of S Squair Blaq, The Square Black Frames, Sonar Soul and Danya and the Fail, and that is some underrated hotness right there. Generally I use last.fm as a gauge on where an artist falls on the popularity-obscurity scale; these are so far towards the end that I'd have to label them "bands that don't even exist yet". So good, though. And the greater family as a whole is pretty busy in the next few weeks with shows and listening parties and all sorts of friendly goodness.

Couldn't do this right without putting some links in, aye? Start here to put some sounds in your ear. Then when it's seeped in real good and deep, jump over to look at the tour dates (both of those I'm listing below are FREE, by the by). If you don't want to get up and go, I suggest you get yourself to a doctor. You might be dead.

June 19, Chicago, IL, S Squair Blaq w/ Animate Objects, Takin It to the Streets @ Marquette Park

June 25, Chicago, IL, Animate Objects"High Notes for Low Fives" listening party @ Lokal

Prom Night

This is how FBC gets down.

Oh, and while I'm thinking about bikes, someone can go ahead and buy / build this for me, please, kay thanks.

Five bucks, five bucks, five bucks

Whooo/ugh. That's the sound my body makes the morning after having fun at a kick ass show, but one which also kicked my ass. Partied it UP last night at the RFT Showcase, and though I had some reservations it definitely turned out to be a win. As I awaken, recover, and put the pieces of myself back together into some semblance of normality, I figure the best way to make sense of things is to do a run down of my own awards. You know, for posterity.

Best Bar: Hair of the Dog is what I would have to affectionately call a "rough in the diamonds". What concerned me most about the showcase's move from the Loop down to Wash. Ave. was the areas lack of pure venue spaces an overabundance of upscale snooty places. (More about that shortly.) HotD, on the other hand, is the kind of bar that wants you to come in and make yourself at home, no need to worry about taking off your shoes or spilling things on the rug. It's lived in. And they have shuffleboard!

Worst Bar: Lucas Park Grille - I've been out to the Showcase for a few years now, and like any good festival the beauty of it is the carefree come (and go) as you are vibe. This place was way too highfalutin. The first clue was the hostess asking people just ahead of us if they had reservations. Then the patio where the bands were meant to set up had almost no space for folks coming in to watch the bands; most of the tables in the place were set up for diners. That would be fine, if you want to be a restaurant. If you want to be a venue (even for a day), be a venue and let people come hang out. If you want to be a venue AND a restaurant, that'd be fine with me too, Cicero's and Blueberry Hill both have a system down with separate spaces to suit your tastes whether it be eating or rocking out. There are many different right ways to arrange things; this was an example of the wrong way.
Honorable mention in this category goes to Lola. The space is fairly new and nice, but I'm turned off by the fact that they also seemed to not have a sense of their own identity. I think more people were there to eat than to hear music, and I didn't really get the feeling that the music revelers like myself were welcome. Also the waitress with the frou-frou artsy trendy hairdo did not excite me. I just want to go to a bar for some tunes and drinks, not look at you attempt to be a runway model. (I didn't think of it until just now, but she kinda totally reminds me of Helen Strangé from Boomerang.)

Best Band to Get Me in a Dancing Frame of Mind: The Dive Poets came along at just the right time. Their set was the first at a venue as opposed to an outdoor stage, and being inside / in the evening it had finally cooled off enough for me to start drinking. I miss the fiddle, but they still brought it.

Best Band I've Seen Tons of Times: Jumbling Towers, how I've missed you! I used to kick it at their shows fairly often way back in the day, but it's been quite a long time. They rocked some new shit, they rocked some old shit, and I rocked my shit all over the floor right up front. People came in and packed the place during their set, which was great, but no one was dancing! That just wouldn't do. So, me being me, I scooted my behind up to the stage to help with the motivation. I only made small strides with the folks who were up there, but I did find a few possibly old school fans who knew their songs. Definitely going to have to get back into them.

Best Band I've Seen Tons of Times, But Missed: The Feed.

Best Band I've Never Seen: The Monads - Going to see them was a hard choice. They played at the same time as The Feed, and in this case I elected to go with new-and-potentially-awesome over tried-and-true-goodness. I wasn't sure to make of them while they were setting up. Upright bass, banjo, electric violin, giant bag of beach balls... Okay? They turned out to be real lively. I could see myself getting ragin', footstompin' drunk to this band in a good ol' Irish bar. ...if only I could find the perfect Irish bar in which to do it. The floor is open to suggestions.

Best Band I've Still Yet to See: Art Majors played after Jumbling Towers and I heard a little bit of them, but by that point I was tired and tapped out. It'd been a long day, and I no longer had the ability to properly cleanse my aural palate to differentiate between bands. It didn't help that no one in the crowd was into them enough to start moving, that might have convinced me to stick it out a bit longer. Gotta make a mental note to see them properly at some point.

Best Band for a Funky Good Time: Teddy Presberg kills. Literally. I saw someone drop to the ground of a funk attack, and I don't think they pulled through. DOA. Funkamedics could not resuscitate. The man is cooler than anyone has any right to be. My name is Teddy Presberg, and I'm gonna lay some riffs with this guitar in my lap for a lil' bit, izzat okay witchoo? Yes, please, Teddy. Gimme some more. And who else could pull of playing a show barefoot in such a shiny new bar? (He was at the aforementioned Lola) Bonus points for his man maiming folks with the bongo / drum solo funkassault.

Biggest Letdown Band: UG Project - From what I'd read about this group's style and genre-bending, I was really looking forward to something interesting. I ended up only catching maybe the end of one song at the end of their set, but my snap judgment from what I heard was underwhelming.

Best Friend: I didn't go very far out of my way to promote this thing ahead of time, and so did not attempt to bring a big crew down to check things out. I suppose it could have been fun having a pile of people to hang out with, but it also would have been a logistical nightmare. Almost seems better to go solo, or nearly so. I did invite Julie, who was awesome enough to come down, hang out, and pretty much follow me around to whatever band I wanted to see. I think she had a good time, so things worked out well for all parties involved.

Update: Official fotoes.

They don't want music

RFT Music Showcase! Tomorrow! So excited! So many bands coming that I would like to see. So many, in fact, that Ima make a spreadsheet (cuz I'm a nerd). The question is: Should I go see old favs, or explore potential new goodness? Oh, the pressure...

Ice cream has come to save the day

Milkshake Party #2! I don't remember if I took the time to post about last year's Milkshake Party #1, what song I would have chosen if I did, or what kind of "fancy" milkshake recipe it was that I whipped out to impress my adoring fans, but I couldn't let this one go by. Spent a little time in the lab doing research, since I figure one always has to come bigger and badder than the year before. Not as much time as I would have liked, mind you; so much of my schedule this week has been wrecked by bees (!). Gonna try to do something pull off something special just the same though. Making a run for supplies... tonight? Yes. Of course. The party's tonight. Depending on how tasty things come out I'll be back later to post a recipe or two.

New Young Pony Club - Ice Cream

Sweet Inspiration, Times Two

Caught wind of a couple things lately that take my general feeling of being a fairly physically capable guy and just shake it to pieces.

First, I've been reading an account of the Pedouin family's trek on a quint tandem. Five people. One bike. 7,000 miles, from Kentucky to Alaska (by way of Florida). And as far as I can tell the trip is for no reason other than just to do it. In and of itself this feat would be impressive enough, riding clear across the country and all, crashing with folks where they can and sleeping outside where they can't. But then they have two extra degrees of difficulty that are sure to wow the judges. Of this family of five, three of them are young girls, at the outset aged 6, 4 and 2. I'm sure most of the energy for this comes from the parents, but I still have to admire the tenacity for sticking it through. If that wasn't enough, neither of these parents are what I would call actual cyclists. About all they had going for them was that they knew how to ride a bicycle, but nothing approaching serious strength or endurance or distance. They gave themselves just three months time to warm up, and the mileage they do is quite paltry, frankly (I could crush them on my worst day). They seem to be getting it done, though, and good for them.

Second, I just caught this trailer for a documentary called The Ataxian. It's the story of this guy named Kyle Bryant riding in the Race Across America, a one week 3,000 mile trip from coast to coast (on quite a sweet looking recumbent trike... I never cared much for them, but his kinda makes me want one). Pretty intense, right? It takes me a YEAR to do three grand. The guy this documentary is about has a degenerative nerve disease called Friedreich's ataxia with symptoms that will make things much harder for him (and unfortunately, is quite possibly going to kill him). Talk about heart. Dude's got it out the wazoo.

Speaking of Heart, I've been on a kick lately thanks to some recent conversation. Who knew classic rock still tastes so good? Considering today's subject matter, and Kyle's story in particular, this one seems terribly appropriate.

Heart - Magic Man

The trick with eating chips & salsa is finishing the bag and jar at the same time. Otherwise you'll be trapped in a never ending cycle of buying one, then the other, so that the pairing of tastiness will not be disrupted. I wish that they came in quantities perfectly proportioned to each other, cause this might go on forever.

Slow ride, take it easy

This Saturday May 15th is the 3rd Annual Blessing of the Bikes & Dutchtown Bike Tour. Too busy to make it out myself, and who knows what the weather will be doing, but still interesting, worth sharing, and inspirational! ...by which I mean I feel inspired to go listen to Foghat.

Nationally annual Bike Blessings attract thousands of people and are generally held in April or May. The Blessing portion of the event is modeled after a similar, long running event in New York, that has been conducted for twelve years. The Dutchtown Bike Tour is a unique ride, focused on exploring the joys and history of city parks, and their relation to the scheme of city living. The St Louis event will begin promptly at 9:30 AM, Saturday, May 15, in the St Anthony of Padua church parking lot, 3140 Meramec, 63118. Come on your bicycles, skateboards, roller blades, what-have-you. After the short Blessing Program, participants will go east one block to Urban Eats Café, located at 3301 Meramec, to pick up their free Bike Tour Map for a ride around Dutchtown’s Historic Pocket Parks, through two scenic housing developments and the Cleveland High School grounds, accompanied by a narrative written by local historian NiNi Harris.

This year's event will also be adding the option of a Guided Tour of the route, led by St Louis Bike Fed volunteer, Bob Bailey. The tour can be self directed with the route map, or you may take the guided tour if that's more your style.

The first 50 people to arrive at the Café will also receive a free bottle of water and an energy bar for their ride, compliments of the Charless Home & Bethesda Health, plus a Café Coupon. If the Dutchtown Pocket Park tour isn’t long enough for veteran bicyclers, there is an extended ride available also, through the Christy Greenway. Riders can also pre order their lunch for when they expect to arrive back at the café.

Other participants in the event are The Charless Home and Maryville Gardens Apartment complex, which are opening their beautiful grounds, as part of the route and as an example of well-treed and planned urban living communities.

At the end of their ride, cyclists can return for Happy Hour and an art show at the Urban Arts Collective at Urban Eats Cafe, with Naomi Silver opening her Mayshow of work, In the Mood, from 4-6 PM. along with 4 other artists currently in the rotation.

For more details, check out the flyer.